On “Chinese” Mothers (Updated)

Because my wife (and erstwhile coauthor) is Chinese-American, some people have asked me over the last few days what I thought of Amy Chua’s Wall Street Journal piece last weekend trying to explain the superiority of Chinese mothers.

For the record, even though my wife and I were “parented” in (sometimes very) different ways, we more or less got to the same point, so I really have no particular insight about parenting, Chinese or otherwise.

I had promised myself I wouldn’t give any attention to what I see as Amy Chua’s all-too-obvious play to sell more books, but The Last Psychiatrist has a post that is too good not to link to about Chua’s piece.

The Last Psychiatrist’s point is that Amy Chua isn’t trying to raise children, she’s trying to raise children who will get into Harvard, Princeton, or Yale. Heaven forbid they should “only” get into Cornell or Duke.

The best parts of The Last Psychiatrist’s post are:

“Take a step outside the article. This is a woman explaining why Chinese mothers are superior. The thing is, I don’t know any Chinese mothers who would ever talk about their families this way, publicly, describe their parenting, brag about it. Never. And then you see it: Amy Chua isn’t a Chinese mother, she’s an American mother. (…)

And what do Americans do? They brand themselves. I have no idea if Amy Chua cares about Viking stoves or Lexus automobiles but clearly her brand is SuperSinoMom and her bling are her kids. When Jay-Z wants to front he makes a video, and when Amy Chua represents she writes a WSJ article. Because that’s her demo, you feel me? (…)

Amy Chua wants us to believe she is a “Chinese mother,” and my contention is she’s not. I’m not saying she’s a bad mother at all, only that what she thinks is and what she actually is aren’t the same.

What defines a “Chinese mother”– and any steretoypical immigrant parent situation — is the sacrifice. “We sacrifice everything to give you better opportunity!!” they shriek at dinner. Look up at her opening list: those are the sacrifices her kids make, but what sacrifices does she make? Again, I don’t mean she’s a bad mother, but where is the sacrifice of her own personal happiness, clothing, hopes and dreams? Note carefully that she may in fact be sacrificing, but in her essay she does not describe those as important (or at all) to the success. What’s important to her is the yelling and the discipline, which she believes is a Chinese technique.”

Interesting throughout. Read the whole thing here.

Update: Amy Chua now claims that the Wall Street Journal misrepresented her. Misrepresentation being a tort, does this mean she will take legal action?